Who Am I as a Communicator

     The three  tests we used for this assignment provided an interesting assessment of my communication skills. As I compared how I scored myself with the scores provided by my co-worker , Nanette and my long-time friend, Pat, I noticed some similarities.   I was surprised by the difference in the communication Aniexty Inventory.  While I consider myself a competent communicator and felt my score reflected that, both Nanette and Pat scored me considerably higher. I must admit, this bolstered my confidence.
      I also discovered just how much my personal schema impacts on my first impression of people I interact with. When I reviewed my classmates answers, I realized that we all probably based the answers on a personal frame of reference.  I think it would be difficult not to . Having that awareness now, I intend to before conscious of this as I make new aquaintences.
     Another insight I gained this week was related to the Listening Skills Profile.  My score as well as the scores Nanette and Pat provided, put me in Group 1. I wasn't  surprised by the style being people oriented. Every position I have ever held in the work world has involved interacting with people. The description pointed out that people scoring in this group are empathetic which is a positive quality when interacting with others.  It also stated that there are some negative implications as well which I had never thought about.  Sometimes being too empathetic causes one 
 to be more trusting of others which can create problems in communication and relationships. As I thought about this more, I understood the connection.  I see being people oriented as a benefit both personally and professionally. This assignment helped me come to understand the importance of  keeping a balance between being empathetic and at the same time maintaining a realistic perception of how other people are feeling as we communicate with them.

Strategies for Communicating More Effectively

I find myself communicating with the staff I oversee differently than I do with other colleagues.  We have different personal backgrounds, different levels of education and different work ethic in some cases.  Sometimes this becomes problematic and I almost set myself up for issues by not taking the time to adjust for these differences.  I have found myself misreading their nonverbal cues and even failed to consider our cultural differences at times.  The three techniques that especially stood out for me this week that may help me remedy this problem are self-monitoring my environment and the others in it for signals that will help me determine how to present myself (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012), becoming more aware of nonverbal behaviors of the group and improve my ability to pick up on the silent messages (Gonzalez-Mena, 2010) and applying the Platinum Rule by putting myself into the other person’s frame of reference. I hope to improve the communication with my staff and in doing so, have more productive and positive interactions with them.   I think incorporating these things into my interactions with the staff will produce a more positive climate for everyone. I find myself thinking about the quote “In each head there is a world” (Gonzalez-Mena, 2011) and knowing that there is so much truth in just those few words. By adopting that mindset when I communicate with others will help me become a more competent communicator.

 

References

Beebe, S.A., Beebe, S.J. & Redmond, M., (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others  

                (6^th Ed.). Boston, M: Allyn & Bacon

Gonzalez-Mena, J., (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families.  Upper  Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012) Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.

 

Words Really Do Tell the Story!

This assignment was interesting!  I chose a new television show called “The New Normal”. The show aired on NBC on Tuesday evening.  The characters were two men in their 30’s- Bryan and David, a woman who appears to be a little younger- Goldie, her daughter about 10 years old- Shania and another woman in her 50’s who is not named.        (The ages are estimated!) As I watched it without the sound, it seemed to be a first meeting between the 2 men.  It took place in a night club of some sort.  Initially it seemed like two guys becoming friends.  As the storyline continued it became obvious that they were gay and they were actually flashing back to how they met.  The younger woman at first seemed like she was in a romantic relationship with David. They all seemed to be avoiding the grandmother. The plot seemed to be centered on Goldie and Shania moving into a new house.  Shania seemed dressed oddly for a child her age and had some difficulties when she started a new school. The show ended with David answering the telephone and making an announcement to Bryan and Goldie.  Throughout the show, there seemed to be an obvious friendship between Bryan, David and Goldie.  Bryan had numerous conversations with Shania.  The grandmother seemed to be plotting something.

                When I watched it with the sound, the story was somewhat different!  Bryan and David were in a stable, romantic relationship and had decided they wanted a family. Both were successful in their fields and well off financially.  Goldie had just ended her marriage and was struggling to make ends meet financially and had hopes of going to law school.  Bryan and David meet with Goldie to discuss her becoming a surrogate mother for David and Bryan.  The grandmother it turns out is very bigoted against gays and is appalled that Goldie would even consider this.   Bryan and Shania share a lot of things as he tells her what growing up was like for him because he knew he was different at an early age.  They had a special friendship by the end of the show.  The telephone call at the end of the show was in fact the call from the Doctor’s office announcing a positive pregnancy test.

                I totally missed the part of the plot concerning Goldie becoming the surrogate without the conversation.  Initially, I assumed that Bryan and David were straight.  With the sound on, it was obvious from the very beginning that they were gay.  Their character traits were stereotypical for gay men. The grandmother’s part in the story was not at all evident without the sound because the nonverbal signals made it seem that she was friendly to everyone.  It was the commentary made in her “thoughts” in her head that helped me understand how she felt about gays and their becoming parents.

                Had I been watching a show I was familiar with, I would have had some previous knowledge of the relationships among the characters.  Since it was a brand new show, I had no prior knowledge of the relationships or the plot. This made the exercise really interesting and fun. The assignment helped me understand more clearly that communication is not always straight forward and things are not always what they seem to be making it important to always be open to all that is going on when communicating with others including the context in which the interaction occurs.

Competent Communication

When I think of an effective communicator one person immediately comes to mind.  I think of Rita.  She is a friend and colleague who spent many years working as a psychiatric nurse.  She used her many experiences to build a repertoire of workshops on the topic of social and emotional wellness.  Rita has a wonderful sense of humor that she incorporates into her presentations.  She is also a master at providing examples that are easy to relate too.  I have heard her speak many times over the years and I always find myself think “I know just what you mean” as she points out circumstances that have been stressful.  Her demeanor is warm and caring.  Even when she addresses a large group, she has a way of making you feel like she is talking directly to you.   Rita presented a workshop to my staff of teachers and family advocates last Spring that was a wrap up for our program year. Throughout the year, our professional development theme was related to social and emotional wellness for children and those that work with them. Rita has the ability to communicate on a level that was meaningful to my staff and make it relevant to the work they do which made the workshop very beneficial on a professional and personal level for everyone.  I use Rita as a model for communicating with people both personally and professionally by incorporating a little bit of humor and also keeping it real.

 

Professional Hopes and Goals

During the past 7 weeks as I studied Perspectives on Diversity and Equity,   I feel I have been provided a unique learning experience.  I found myself remembering many situations in my life that I honestly had not thought about in a long time. I also realized how things around me have changed over the years and also how I have changed in terms of diversity and equity.

            In this final post for  this class that helped me look more deeply at the challenges children and families face because of  intolerance and lack of cultural understanding, , it is my hope that through my work as a Head Start program administrator, I am able to make a difference in my community in the following ways : to provide a high quality program with staff that is culturally responsive in meeting the needs of all families, to investigate additional funding sources to provide services to more children,  and  to be more culturally responsive as I interact  with   my staff.

            In a more global sense, it is my hope that  the early childhood field continues to support the efforts around the world that are  addressing   the needs of children in those countries where expectations for children are very different from what we know as childhood in the United States.  It is my hope that advocacy efforts continue to bring social justice that will allow children all over the world to experience childhood and to experience positive educational experiences.

            Finally, I would like to thank my colleagues that have been a part of this learning experience for sharing their personal experiences related to diversity, equity and social justice. Also I appreciated the thoughtful feedback I received to posts I made to our discussions and my blog. I feel that this course, unlike any of the others I have taken on this journey to acquire my Master’s degree has had a personal and professional impact on me. 

 

           

Welcoming Families From Around the World

This assignment comes at an interesting time.  I enjoyed watching the Olympics this past week and reading some interesting stories about athletes from other countries.  One story that caught my attention involved the two women from Saudi Arabia who are the first to ever participate in the Olympics from their country.  Sara Attar participated in a track event and followed the tradition of being completely covered including a head covering called a hijab.  The other woman, Seraj Abdulrahim Shaherkani   who participated in judo did not.  This is being viewed as a huge step forward for women in Saudi Arabia as well as globally.

                 Having found detailed information on Saudi Arabia on the following website- http://www.everyculture.com, I decided to have my family originate from Saudi Arabia.  Their daughter will be entering my preschool class at a child care facility.  I would prepare for her arrival by in the following ways-

                1- I would learn more about the specific region of the country the family was from since I learned through my research of the country that there are four distinct regions and the lifestyles are different in each one.

                2. I would learn more about the dietary restrictions their culture and religion imposes to be sure to be mindful of this when preparing menus for the lunches served.

                3.  I would read more about the common practices concerning childrearing as related to parent child interactions and expectations.

                4. I would investigate the family’s level of comfort with English to determine if it would be appropriate to bring in a translator for their first visit to the center.

                5.  I would read more about the social etiquette especially concerning gender.  Having read about the Saudi views that are very evident even today concerning gender, I would try to be respectful of their beliefs in my interactions with the family.

                I think learning more about the Saudi Arabian culture in general would help me be prepared to handle some of the differences in a culturally responsive way and help the child and her family feel welcome and comfortable .

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice and Oppression

                Growing up in the 1950’s and 60’s, I remember clearly the scenes on the evening news of police brutality and race riots across our nation.  It was difficult to watch the treatment people were subjected to especially in the South.  In my community, there was no evidence of segregation and for the most part, there was equality for all.  As a child and even as an adolescent, I had a difficult time understanding what I was seeing.  Sadly, we didn’t discuss it as a family so I was left to try to figure it out on my own.   When I reached high school in the later 60’s, I gained a better understanding of the issues.  In my high school, there seemed to be equal opportunity for all students.  Interracial dating was unusual but it did occur.

                The segregation and unjust treatment of people of color completely diminished equity   which is what I feel led to the demonstrations and eventual riots.   Sadly, it was the only thing left to bring about desperately needed change in our society.

                As a young person watching these things on the news and not having conversations with my parents to help me understand what was happening, I was afraid and confused.  It was difficult to understand why people were treated so differently in other parts of our country. Reflecting back on this now, I realize that it was only when I learned about the issues in school that I found myself developing my own perspective on civil rights and the importance of equality.  That has remained with me throughout my life.

                As a country, those difficult times brought about necessary change.  The government adopted laws that protected all people from being treated so unjustly and proposed equality on all levels. While I know we have made tremendous progress over the past 50 years, as I have gained a deeper understanding of the issues related to diversity through this course and others I have had on this journey toward my Master’s degree.  I have come to realize we are not completely there yet. There are still groups within our country that are subjected to bias, prejudice and oppression in varying degrees. As an early childhood professional, I feel I have a responsibility to the staff I work with, the children and their families to be culturally responsive and respectful of all people and accepting of the elements of their social identity that may be different from mine.